Whatever the weather…

The year is speeding past, here in the UK summer has been brief and inconsistent but this is life… brief and full of contrast, remembering that we chose to be here at this moment in time.

How we weather the storms will vary, for some a good walk will shake of depression but for others something more radical is needed, whatever it is will be to get out of ourselves, to put distance from us as the pain of that disconnection cannot be properly processed by sitting and facing it fully, humans are emotional beings… e-motion = energy in motion; tsunami or drizzle all deserve to be acknowledged and felt.

We are extraordinarily resilient, we British can come into our own more when things ‘need to be done’, that Dunkirk spirit out trumps upset as we soldier on, for some this is the answer but as the generations die out and the younger ones come in more connected another way will need to be found.

My dear mother is a ‘must get on’ generation, to talk about anything deep and meaningful is pointless as I am left feeling the weird one and abandoned when she starts focusing attention on the dog, lesson learnt, those conversations are best avoided. We spend a lot of time together (so plenty of learning opportunities!) and I am observing her as much as myself during our interactions, why do I feel this or that, then I remind myself that all I need to bring to the table is love and to love myself as much as her or indeed anyone when I feel tetchy or irritated.

Setting an intention at the start of ones day can cover all bases, mine has evolved into “I will bring love and joy”, this I now take with me into every high street, shop or home I visit, I can feel my inner light expanding as I walk down a road or when I chat or smile at another soul… shine and glow, shine and glow.

With weather this rubbish I would normally be thinking of sun seeking in the Med but that’s just looking outside of myself again for that solar energy, this summer has definitely brought me back to myself in a more empowered and grounded way, knowing that my inner power never left me, I just let myself cover it up by thinking I needed to reserve it for loved ones or being in a certain emotional state or with some wine or be on the beach… crazy thinking and excuses, dimming ones light… totally crazy…

Shine and glow, shine and glow.

A void…

Currently I have a few well loved humans who are in severe emotional, physical and mental turmoil, it is as if they are walking through treacle, unable to see or even shift into a different perspective. Too human, too bogged down in ‘shoulds, trying, guilt, shame, etc…’ with these human beliefs the law of attraction is feeding them more and more turmoil as they vortex downwards instead of upwards…

How is it best to support these people as they unravel?

Hold them in our thoughts, without lessening who we are… us getting sick will not make others well…

I have had such an experience this year, a client from a few years ago had kept in contact, they were shielding so avoided meeting up, just before Christmas their health spiraled downwards quite dramatically, she would call asking if I thought she had cancer, not a question I could answer, with little help from her GP she took herself off to a private London hospital where she was diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus. She had witnessed her husband dying of it a few years ago and knew exactly how aggressive it could be.

We ended up talking most days this year, I listened to her fears and her tears.

Since knowing this human I was aware just how seriously she took her health, whilst she was open to complimentary therapists this was trumped by her obsession with the data private blood tests gave her and her blood pressure machine, sometimes calling me to give me the high readings and asking what she should do, I suggested that perhaps she could have a break from testing and focus on breathing exercises instead, thus giving her a little more inner power over this aspect of her health. Her beliefs though were being fed by the reality these tests were giving her, they helped confirm her worst fears and that was that she was sick. Everything she was doing was inside out though.. her thoughts were the one thing she could not control and it was easy for me to see how she spiraled downwards with dominant negative thoughts. She had high expectations from humans too, they had to be heart centred, an empath, this is probably why she only had one other friend, who lived in Canada. Perhaps this is how I became drawn in… from therapist to friend, I felt sorry for her and wanted to fix her. When you spend a lot of time with someone though you can see their control dramas play out, and for her it was about making people wrong; doctors or friends, the amount they knew and the amount they loved.

Making people wrong about anything doesn’t make you right though, it just creates separation.

Since she died I have been trying to give meaning to her life, (from a spiritual/soul growth aspect), two marriages that she said were loveless, a sister who she didn’t feel loved by, yet she had the most loving parents and an idyllic childhood, how could this be? My only conclusion is that if she was loved so much as a child then perhaps her benchmark for love was so much higher than those of us who felt abandoned, rejected and unworthy, thus no one could measure up… apart from her dog…

The UK was not her country of birth, and where she lived was surrounded by a huge hedge, her garden bare and unloved, more indication of separation.

Now that she is witnessing those she has left behind she will see that she was loved and her passing has left a void, her smile was childlike and impish, she was kind and generous, and although I did not know her well she was loved by me for that short period in her life.

Love is love and it comes in all sorts of ways…

Wo Men…

All change comes from within; as certain realisations and behaviours come into consciousness, that in turn shifts reality, then when enough souls have had the same thought the tipping point is reached as group consciousness shifts. At the moment generational limiting beliefs are falling away, being macheted to the ground and trampled over. Here in the past few weeks women have been seeking to be heard, yet again, made harder when your audience is mainly made up of white males, (many of whom were shut away in single sex boarding schools from a very young age, to be released as 18 years old with little clue as to how to relate to women on any level; emotional, spiritual or physical).

As with anything in life we all have a point and then the Rubicon is crossed.

As generational inequality moves more into alignment, as when I grew up it was customary for the man of the house to sit at the head of the table, as did my ex, then my eldest sons, they were also served first. I witnessed a mother that put herself last and I repeated the pattern too of keeping small. I will not be doing this anymore, (perhaps I might invest in a round table too!).

At the end of the day we are all souls, (who signed up for this extra ordinary time on planet earth) and empowerment is an inside job, we cannot reject 50% of the planet, avoiding an issue never gets to the core, all humans deserve respect and esteem, some males and females need to work on this more than others. But for me this is a reflection of our deep disrespect for mother earth…the divine feminine. Parts of this beautiful planet have been raped of all resources, polluted for decades, exposed to nuclear explosions and left for dead, have had waste thrown at her from all areas and from all of us… it is certainly time to clean up our act.

Our souls will seek alignment with our physical, through emotions, I feel like we have taken a step back in the last few weeks, as the powers that be are trying to impose more control over us, but I am trusting the process, looking within and having a good rant if necessary. If you are feeling emotionally charged on any subject then dig deeper, heal the wound, heal the world.

Life… to us or for us…

It was a full moon yesterday… energies are high which to me means that whatever underlying issues you need to wrestle to the ground will be highlighted during this time.

If we all remember that life is happening for us and not to us then perhaps that is enough to shift perspective and allow yourself to enquire and investigate what has happened and continues to happen like a broken record.

Mine, empowerment, always empowerment. I have resolved to myself never to be dis-empowered by anyone else again, whether it is governments, conspiracy theories or much closer to home, family and other animals, I know what is true in my heart and will do my best to bring balance to that imbalance.

So, if we are living life through this premise then… and believe me when I say I have been around an awful lot of people who are dying, have died or wish to die… are we creating the illness, the dis-ease (emotional or physical) or is it happening for us??? And how far is too far… can we recalibrate if we are on the brink of death and have some spiritual enlightening experience like Anita Moorjani and many other near death experience humans or do we have to shed this shell in order to rebirth. My belief is that it can be resolved in a life time, no need to reincarnate, take the plunge now, release the shit that you hold on to and go with the flow.

If we hold firmly to the belief that it is happening ‘to us’ then we are the victim but to simply rephrase it to ‘for us’ allows us to check in to what has come before, see the repeat patterns and let them go. However, so many of us become attached to the sadness, the wanting, the lack that it is unfamiliar to shift vibrations for the better as it is out of our comfort zone. I remember when I started feeling ‘better’ and then dropped back down to my familiar doom and gloom that welcomed me like a comfort blanket and wanted me to stay in the grey. Fortunately my spirit knew better and shrugged it off. If I drop it is momentarily to give me the opportunity to ask myself … is this to me or for me…?

Feel the fear, anxiety, grief and do it anyway…

You are loved, always have been always will be.

Back to earth…

We have all chosen to be earthlings during this time for whatever lessons our souls wish to experience, we don’t know how long this particular part will last but I do believe that as long as one is consciously setting out desires then it will extend our lives and let’s face it no one wants to stagnate in the mundane, do they? Lock down 3 or is it 4? has had me feeling bored and uninspired, but I am totally fine with that, out of boredom comes creativity, dreaming is good and allows me to glean clarity on what I want as I remind myself that all is unfolding perfectly as it has and always will do.

I have always been a dreamer and to be honest feel odd after a chakra balancing session, it is not my normal to be so grounded. (Chakra wise, being more grounded shifts energies from the higher chakras down towards earth. Anxiety would live in the higher chakras along with dreaming; it is where an idea starts to be brought down to earth or not depending on how balanced one is). I don’t suffer from anxiety now but I know I used to get extremely stressed trying to reach my unattainable goals of perfection… the one area that always caused my anxiety to rise was around punctuality, of course the universe conspired to heal me as it gave me friends or partners who wore their tardiness as a badge of bloody honour, I well remember becoming more and more demented when they were consistently late, my logic knew they would be but I had no control over my energetic body and its reaction to this lack of respect around timing…until I learnt to heal my limiting beliefs… funny now looking back and also good to see how those energies have stabilised.

So with so many souls experiencing anxiety related issues at the moment (Vegus nerve exercises on the YouTube may help if you are one of them, EFT, Emotion Code too) the biggest shift is to realise that we are spiritual, eternal beings foremost, just playing at this human role. If we all started from this simple realisation then we will more easily see the magic life has to offer. Waking up every day saying ‘I am alive!’, ‘Wow, I chose to be human at this time’, ‘Wow, look at my body and the life I chose?’ would those words be enough to help shift your perspective on your life, let you step back a bit and see your human experience from a bigger picture approach… that it is exciting, thriving and blinking perfect.. giving space to appreciate what you have, from that perspective you are able to then take the next step up the ladder towards spirit, as one lets go of human limited thoughts.

A great wave is washing over us all at the moment to help us remember this connection, to wake us up to this possibility that we are all so much more… some will be brought to knees with despair… but I truly believe if we can just get into the practice of letting go of our humanness for small periods of time then it allows the more powerful spirit to reclaim what was and is always there… peace, love, serenity, connection and joy.

Meditate, walk in nature, yoga, laughing…basically find anything that gives you the space to connect to your divinity.

Live your best life everyone and be well.

It’s a wrap…

As the end of 2020 fast approaches, I find myself reflecting on what has been learnt and what still needs more practice.

The human me is always seeking vibrational alignment with the spiritual me and to whatever it is that I desire. I throw out the desire like a fly fisher would his line but instead of reeling in the hook, I use the space to clear up any limiting beliefs and energies as to why I do not have said desire. It’s a fabulous game to play and easily done when you know your physical and emotional body… Some times it is an action first, energies second or vice versa but when resolved you’ll know as you flow into what you want with no resistance… it happened with a job this year… I still laugh at how easy it was and thank the universe for supporting me.

In taking action… the inner dialogue can run rampant, speaking what it thinks is the truth but really it’s an old recording based on upbringing and our own delusion that we are somehow unworthy. Time to throw the tape away… unwrap the realisation and chisel away at the wall between you and your desire.

As our spiritual being knows none of this unworthiness stuff, we were born to thrive, our souls know there is a bigger picture to this human experience and 2020 has fast tracked us like never before to bring us to whatever realisations we were meant to see and to get us to clearly ask what do we want from our lives?

All walls are man-made and can be taken down, they have been built to control movement, people or emotions, they cause separation and division, they limit and curtail as they are built on fear, control and pain…

So my 2020 gift was, (that yet again)… and this is the running theme of my life… that I had abandoned myself for others, by doing this I am not in my true power. Crazy human thinking and thankfully clearly seen.

Being present is the best gift you can give yourself and anyone else as we enter 2021. Look within for expansion as we continue on our extra ordinary paths to alignment of mind, body and spirit.

Happy New Year to you all!

What you’re worth…

This planet is full of humans walking around making comparisons and judgements about themselves and others (who are only a mirror for them), that self critic can run rampant with aggressive comments that sabotage and de-value self-esteem, this can lead to anxiety as we believe that inner dialogue and give it power.

I believe that we are here to seek alignment from within, that we can find heaven on earth and I have spent a good few decades wrestling and lassoing redundant thoughts that do not serve my highest good, I interrogated them like any old wartime spy would have been… by shining that spotlight onto and into me, until those walls of vulnerability tumbled and I surrendered to myself.

But what if…

Just your presence is the greatest gift you can offer anyone.

Can you really receive love and abundance for just being you?

Sit with that a bit, repeat it, tell others… doesn’t that simple statement send relief to your whole being?

What just being me is enough? Yes, it really is that simple.

You are enough, you always were.

Dialing it up…

If you are learning more about yourself, healing past patterns, having aha moments and getting frequent insights then your recovery from what was programmed to the more authentic you will be moving at a steady pace… shedding old programming has definitely become faster and what used to take a few days to assimilate can take hours… walking in nature or being by the sea can hasten the process of integrating your shiny new vibrations, an Epsom salt bath will serve just as well, eating some grounding food like dark chocolate or meat can also help.

We all have our life path and if mine was to be shown on a graph, it would start fairly high, then at 10 years old drop below ‘the worthy of existence line’, there I stayed for decades when I felt lower than pond life! But it has consistently risen since I took on my thoughts and shifted from victim consciousness…some times though it jumps as a new experience momentarily comes into my reality… I liken it to a self worthiness test.

For example…

… meeting a multi-millionaire, going to his central London house and feeling steady in who I was, no thoughts of unworthiness crept in, of not belonging or that I shouldn’t be there… or of envy and jealousy.

… I got to be a passenger in a Tesla, for some reason I have longed to go in one for a few years now, to check out how easy then are to drive. Last week I spent time with a co-writer (of a revived film script), her husband was more than happy to take me for a spin… and it was exhilarating… superficial perhaps, but it helps me see where and how my energy is on my ever expanding dial of self-worth.

Unless we think outside the box and dream big then there is no way of gauging any self improvement, as we remain limited to our everyday reality but everything is energy and the law of attraction is constantly showing you what you think of yourself, dial it up and the universe will respond.

Dream the dream… release the limiting beliefs… step into a new reality.

It is simple when you know the formula and have the tools.

If you should need some assistance in realising your full potential, my help yourself (plenty of tools included!) e-book ‘Mirror, Mirror’ is available on Kindle or through http://bllotpublishing.co.uk as is my short story ‘The Pony and the Man-Made Man’ , or to order though any UK bookshop.

Stepping into 5D…

In this time of great expansion, reality has been and is being squeezed, demanding attention; health, finances, relationships and careers being the four major areas to be reviewed, refreshed and rebalanced.

I listen to a lot of wise speakers who are committed to raising the vibration of humanity and it always comes down to our energy and freedom.  Releasing negativity in order to reach that love vibration that connects us to all that is which gives us more freedom to do what we want.  Staying small is not an option right now as we move into the age of aquarius and from 3D to 5D consciousness.

But what stops us from shining as brightly as we can?  What or who started limiting us?  Who put who into a box?  Were we threatened with no pocket money?  Or perhaps physical violence if we did not conform to parental demands?  Or did we witness things that made us conform?  To be honest I was a child that always felt disconnected from family and some would say I was aloof, this was due to a life event that I became a total victim to for years.

But this stick, like all, has two ends… if you keep yourself small then you want to be noticed as your ego is craving acknowledgement… pick me, pick me!  But when old wounds are healed, ego falls away, as you are completing yourself from the inside out, recongnising old patterns, listening to the inner dialogue and becoming aware of reactions and responses, blaming others is another clue as to where you are at.

Never let any one belittle you and if you feel that you are being then interrogate yourself as to why you are allowing part of yourself to be kept small… there could be a trapped emotion that EFT could release or by simply saying no and standing in your full power.

Shining forth, excited, thriving and expanding into your infinite possibilities, in the highest vibration possible as you walk your path and continue this human journey, as more and more of us are connecting to each other on the higher wave length.



Test of time…

Once I became consciously aware of the law of attraction… I could clearly address the  areas of my life and how or why they were not working… it turned out that it was all and everything and I really appreciate the trip back to me so far, reclaiming all those soul fragments that I had scattered out into the universe at a young age.  I spent so much of my life ungrounded and on autopilot as I had abandoned who I was.  Sad but true.

I have just come back from a few days with my mother, a wonderful barometer to how I am doing and definitely helps to see which kinks still need to be ironed out of my belief system, as let’s face it our parents or siblings are our greatest test of where we are at as they shine the spotlight on our insecurities, trapped emotions etc.  With recently realising that people pleasing is not soul pleasing, my energy has shifted, as with any new thought, that thought has to be integrated into my aura, like putting on an item of clothing that I feel I do not belong in but then it quickly becomes a comfortable favourite, I then laugh (after the tears) at how it has taken so long to have had that realisation, but we only know what we know when we know it.

By continuing to appreciate what is shifts perspective, so start simple. On the drive back I had no inner critic yakking at me, telling me of the shoulds…Wow so freeing.  At other times I abandoned myself by people pleasing, wearing someone else’s clothes and not my own but this time I didn’t, with that there was no justifying, I could just be, I wonder if this means I have finally landed as this human in this lifetime?

We will see.

There are some big dreams still out there and it will be fun to bring them into my reality.